madison's 1-year check-up and vaccinations were on tuesday. i was anxious to see how much she'd gained, since she's now in size 2 diapers (yay!) and feels heavier. the scale showed 15 lbs, 11 oz... a 1 lb, 7 oz gain from her 9-month visit. she measured in at 29 inches even. for percentiles, she's in the 20.5th percentile for her length and the 0.06th percentile for her weight. she's right on track with her development and dr h was pleased with that. however, he was not as excited about her weight gain as i was. while she did gain, it wasn't enough. if she were following the growth curve, he'd be satisfied; she's not, though- she's almost "flat-lined". dr h left the exam room for a few minutes to make a few calls regarding madi, and when he came back, he started with this: "i've made some calls. there's a great doctor i'd like for you to consult with at the children's hospital in neenah..." and he followed with things like "consultations with other specialists" and "children's hospital is one of the best" and other various scary words. a little bit about dr h: he's laid back. he doesn't bring up "could be's" and "maybe's" unless it's absolutely necessary. he did mention that madison could just be very petite, but he's not comfortable with those odds anymore and wants to make sure that it's not something more than just being very very small. instead of a checkup, shots and home, we were sent for labs. they wanted a urine sample, but wanted to avoid using a catheter, so they used a u-bag instead.
madi was NOT pleased about having a plastic bag stuck to her little bum!!
can i just mention that through all of this, i'm trying not to break down in a panic? my instinct was to hang onto my baby girl for dear life and cry. cry and cry. because even though she could very well be perfectly healthy, the real possibility of the opposite consumed me.
i guess that's what mommies are supposed to do...
anyway, we went home to wait for madi to deposit a sample and when she did, it went into the fridge. i took it back yesterday, with madison in tow, so that they could take more blood for more samples. they're testing her pituitary and thyroid levels, testing for kidney problems and whatever else her samples can possibly tell us. if something pops up, then we'll take the trip to neenah and go from there. the hardest part now is waiting. waiting to see if it's all just a false alarm and she's teeny-tiny but ok, or if there's something more. if she's got a growth hormone deficiency. if her kidneys are giving out. if her body's not absorbing calories. if.... if.if.if.if.
my mind's going in circles and my emotions are in overdrive.
but that's my job.
i'm her mommy.
she's my baby.
i'm scared.
(and if everything turns out to be ok, i'll be relieved and then slightly embarrassed for over-reacting. just fyi)
anyway....
last night the kids decided to make supper.
yup- my two cute chefs...
they're both manning the kitchen.
would you like to know what we had for supper?
we had chicken.
we WERE going to have take-out, but, well...
(you can't very well call for take-out when the phone's in the frying pan, now, can you?)
oh yes- it's always something with these two!!
7 comments:
overreacting? Not really. Even if it all turns out to be nothing, it's still the normal thing to be worried and sort of panic-y inside, right? How could you not be... while you hope for the best! No need to be embarrassed as far as I can see. Sending a hug and hope all's ok. xo
There is no need to be embarrassed if all these test turn up normal.
In my mind.. if you WERE NOT worried, stress or concerned.. I'd say something is wrong with you!
Mothers (and Dads) have every right to grab their child and cry their eyes out, fret all day/night. And if it turns out to be nothing.. You can hug your child a little tighter and cry some more because everything is ok!
Thinking of you! Hoping everything turns out okay!
thanks, girls... i know it's my natural and given right to panic... which i kind of am... but there's the whole "don't-want-to-look-like-a-big-baby" thing. you know- like having a tantrum or something and getting embarrassed because there wasn't really cause for a tantrum... not that i'm having a tantrum, of course, but it's the closest i could come to an example. :)
It would be an embarrasment to not be worried!
If u need anything at all let us know!
Even though I believe, "whatever is meant to be will be", we still need time... Time to first comprehend, then to adjust, etc. No matter what you hear, "she is OK", or "we found..." you will still need time.
Prayers are with your family!
linds, i know the feeling of not knowing what's wrong with your baby! give yourself a big warm hug "from" me and get a good nights sleep.
You're 100% normal and 100% a mom for worrying. It's what we do, and it never gets easier. I hope you hear back from the lab soon, so your poor mind doesn't spin uncontrollably too much longer.
I, Too, worry like crazy about every.little.thing. I'm sure I'm going to make myself crazy doing it. But it does help to remind yourself (often...very often) that everything is in God's hands and He takes care of His people. Sure am thankful we don't have to travel thru life 'alone'!
thinking of you and wishing the best for madison! all good moms worry...here's a hug...:0)
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