it is well...

i had to share this... it's been the plea of my heart the last few days, just to accept whatever comes our way and rest content in the knowledge that the Lord has led us there and will lead us through it too.

i've always loved this melody, and the words to the "old" hymn are ones that i find comforting...

"when peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll; whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, "it is well, it is well with my soul".

as i get ready to hit the "publish" button, it's just sweet little remington and i here in the living room while everyone else is in bed after a long nap-less day. he's standing between my knees, holding onto the edge of the tote that's doubling as a laptop desk, completely on his own. his motor skills seem to be improving daily, for which we're so grateful... it's a relief to know that he's starting to catch up. while he's still got a ways to go, he's made a great start at it and i think i'm more giddy over his accomplishments than a new mommy, even, just because we've been holding our breath, just waiting to see if he'll reach even the little milestones on his own. ha... and now, as i finished typing those last few lines, he'd plunked down on my leg and is at this very moment attempting to pull himself to standing. he's *thisclose* to getting up.

one more thing before rem has his bottle and we settle down for a hopefully quiet night (last night was a long one- i tried giving him rice again, hoping he'd be ok with it, but he was up most of the night, fussy and agitated, so rice obviously isn't going to be added to his diet anytime in the very near future. sigh.)... i may have said it, though i most likely forgot: all our friends and family have really meant the world to us since all of this came to a head with remington. and while it's not over yet, thank you all so much for lending your ears, letting me vent, your phone calls/emails/texts, and for remembering us in the place of prayer. we love you all, i don't know how to say it any other way. thank you.

--> insert witty title here <--

my creative sparke has fizzled... all i can say is that there's been an escalation/new development in remington's situation. while i can't really go into detail here, we could really use some encouragement in prayer right now. i don't think i've ever felt this discouraged (and even repeating "it could be worse" to myself like a madwoman just doesn't seem to help right now)... not trying to have a pity party or anything, we're just really overwhelmed. so thank you all again for your thoughts and prayers- please don't stop now!!!

this again... sigh.

alrighty... so this will be redundant for those of you who either are family, talk a lot to my family or both. please bear with me...!

when remington was discharged from children's hospital in neenah back between christmas and new years, we knew ahead of time that he'd be seeing a growth and development specialist when we got to little rock. the dr who oversaw rem's care was awesome enough to look up, contact and schedule an appointment for us, so we didn't even have to do anything but show up. his appointment was last week wednesday (the 11th). if you've ever been to children's in little rock, then you know how huge it is. if you haven't, then i can't even begin to tell you. it's insanely huge, especially for us small-town folks.

rem saw dr casey over in the 'circle of friends' building, one of many that are outlying from the main hospital itself. after waiting two hours beyond when his appointment was scheduled, we finally saw the dr and he advised that rem be admitted right away. of course, i've got all three kids, the older two are cuh-LIM-bing the walls by this time, rem's too tired to stay awake but overdue for a feeding and my last nerve is dangerously frayed. i sort of freaked out (sorry, mom!) but calmed down once they said that there weren't any open beds, so they had no choice to but wait until the morning to admit him. so that's what we did... and i barely slept that night.

remington and i got to the hospital around 8.30 on thursday morning and he was completely admitted about an hour later. we were taken to itu (infant/toddler unit) where he was given a bed in a room with three other beds, two of which were occupied. there was a single bathroom (my inner germophobe freaked out...) and we were right outside the nurses' station. rem was weighed, measured, stripped down, given a bracelet, given an iv port, blood taken, catheterized for a urine sample and the whole time i was asked a million and a half questions. rem was incredibly angry about all of this, and i was so sad for him... especially when they took him to radiology to have him x-rayed. the upright tube that they put little ones in for that is just not cool. he was screaming and i pretty much lost it. every instinct in my body was telling me to grab him and just snuggle all the fear away. after all that, he was finally left alone long enough to be able to eat- mashed potatoes and applesauce. we've been using an organic formula for supplemental feedings- it's the only kind we've been able to give him that he'll accept. i had to call kelvin to pick up two extra cans from whole foods because they wanted unopened cans to mix up his portions... thankfully, he'd taken the day off (and took friday off as well to stay with cole and madison).

once all the poking and prodding was over, rem was happy enough to make his silly face for the camera!

the first night was interesting! i struggled with whether i should stay with him at the hospital or go home for a few hours to try to get a little rest. the nurses encouraged me to go home, even just for a little while, and i left (bawling) after he was asleep. i was sure he'd sleep well because he'd gotten no naps during the day. before he left, though, two ladies from little rock were alerted to our situation and stopped up for a visit... it was beyond wonderful to meet someone from the area- i didn't feel quite so alone and overwhelmed. special thank you to b. and j. for making the effort!! anyway, i went home, got to the apartment around 10-ish and finally dozed off around 11.45. around 12.15, i woke up feeling sick and panicky and a few minutes later, my phone rang; the nurses were calling to say that remington had woken up and wouldn't stop crying. the exact phrase was "he's fit to be tied". imagine that with a scottish accent... nurse betty was amazing and i loveloveloved her accent!! i took a quick shower and drove back (12-15 minutes, depending on traffic). poor baby had been sobbing, and i still feel guilty even now for leaving him alone. we walked the halls from 1.30 till 5.30, when he finally passed out and dozed off and on for a few hours.


kelvin was able to leave the kiddos with a friend (the wife of one of his co-workers; they're staying in the same building we are- we can see their door from ours) and come visit for a little while. remington was pretty tired, though wide awake, and very clingy, so daddy didn't get as much snuggle time as he'd have liked. while he was still there, j. came back for a visit. she brought lunch, telling me that i HAD to eat, then stayed after kelvin went home. we chatted about all sorts of things- we'd met less than 24 hours ago but it felt like i was visiting with an old friend. around noon, rem's medical team came in to report that they'd only gotten a few test results back- some were normal, though he was consistently slightly hypoglycemic. they decided that for the next 24 hours, he was to take in 34 ounces of formula, no solid food, no nursing.



he also got an ekg and had a sweat test done (to check for cystic fibrosis). his sweat test needs to be redone in two weeks because they didn't get enough sweat the first time. bummer. at least it can be done on an outpatient basis!






saturday remington got his iv port out- he was pretty happy, because that's the arm he uses to curl under his head when he sleeps or snuggles! friday night was pretty much sleepless for me, although rem slept a little better. i was able to put him in his crib twice, but the rest of the time, i was holding him (sometimes he was sleeping, sometimes not) and mostly walked the halls again. he wasn't too happy about being in a strange place with strange people, so he didn't want me to sit down with him. poor baby!

mmm, yummy thumb!!

j. came back again on saturday for a few hours... she was a total life-saver and i owe her BIG-TIME! i've never felt quite so grateful for someone's company as i did then... and i truly enjoy talking with her. we've got quite a bit in common, as far as preferrences, phobias, tendencies, likes and dislikes. and she's not hard to talk to- incredibly upbeat and happy.

saturday night was a nightmare. there's a strict policy regarding visitors during cold/flu season, and that night, rem had one little roommate. his grandma was visiting, and she came down with a stomach bug. i flipped. by this time, i was beyond tired, the other little guy (and his dad) in the last room he'd been in had been sick friday night, we were right next to the shared bathroom and i knew that if rem were to get sick and start losing any sort of weight, he'd have to stay longer. not to mention, i didn't want to get sick either. the nurses explained the policy to the grandmother and asked her to please honor it- she got nasty, refused to leave and kept getting sick. rem's nurse that night was amazing- she was so understanding and did all she could to get the director of nursing on staff that night to take care of the situation. it was ignored- the sick grandmother wasn't leaving and they weren't put into isolation as they should have been. the nurse rounded up a freshly sanitized mini-crib and moved remington into the playroom, so we spent the night in there. it was just not a good situation. in the morning, though, because remington had just barely met his goal gain, we were allowed to be discharged... we were out the doors before noon!

it was madison's birthday on sunday and we'd originally planned to have cake on saturday night for her. obviously, that didn't happen, and we hadn't even gotten a chance to get her present. she's only three and still has a year or so before she really understands the whole birthday thing, but we felt so bad that she didn't get a birthday on her birthday, so she opened a package from auntie mary in montana...

... a montana state bear! she loves it, and it's been added to her little bedtime troupe. thank you, auntie mary c!!! actually, madison had also gotten a few things on saturday night from uncle ted and kevin... a princess/fairy barbie and a really neat activity book with stickers. thank you to the guys for making her day!

oh, this little man has never been so happy to be in his own element! it kind of looks like he's clapping, but he's not. i think he's inspecting for food... he's limited to no more than 2 tbsp of solids a day, so he's not too happy about that.

making his famous silly face- i've never captured it from the side, and i'm glad i finally did. it's a hoot!! auntie elissa says he looks like an angry bird... now i really have to jump on the bandwagon and start playing angry birds, hahaha!

~

thank you to everyone who called, texted, emailed and facebooked when rem was in the hospital... it means so much! and we're still waiting on most of his test/lab results- hopefully we'll get reports tomorrow. i'm so thankful that he's ok and that it wasn't worse. on saturday night, the doors to the nicu were opened for something (either incoming patients, janetorial or whatever) and i heard the most awful screams coming from a mommy there. it broke my heart and i can't get it out of my head. i'm so very lucky to have my baby here and safe... one of my favorite reminders is that "it could always be worse", and i'm so very very thankful that it HASN'T been worse.

happy birthday, miss madison!!

three years ago yesterday, our little princess made her wide-eyed entrance into the world. (she was literally born with her eyes open!) normally for birthday posts, i like to share photos of birth, 1st birthday, 2nd birthday, etc. but hers are at home in the safe. whups.

so this one will have to do...

miss madison has been our little princess since she came into our lives. we've watched her grow from a tiny red squalling newborn to an active little girl... she's smart, keeping up with her big brother when it comes to learning letters and numbers. she looks up to cole, is sensitive to the needs and wants of remington, loves with a heart that is bigger than big and keeps us laughing with her humor. she's surrounded by boys: two brothers and three boy cousins... she keeps up with them just fine yet has started to show her girly side too. she's a tiny tiger at the ata with a whopper of a front kick! she's our baby girl, the princess of the house, and we couldn't have dreamed of having a sweeter little daughter. madi, you've brought incredible joy to our hearts! we're so proud of how smart, sweet and kind you are... thank you for being our little girl!

(*and we promise that we'll have cake and presents this weekend... we feel so badly that we had to put it all on hold!*)

white belt babies: it's official!

today cole and madison earned their white belts (officially)!! they also did quite well in class... someday, i HAVE to get video because these little kiddos (and the other one(s) in class) try SO hard to follow master jorgenson. they do a good job but let's face it: 3- and 4-year-olds are just not quite as coordinated as most adults. i can't help but giggle sometimes!

cole's demonstrating his high block and madi's just mad because she still has her shoes on.

cole and his white belt

grouchy squish and HER white belt... :)

i was able to chat with one of the employees (she's not an instructor, she sets up schedules, takes payments, that sort of thing) and she told me a little more about the class and whatnot. since it's world-wide (ataonline.com), we can find schools pretty much where ever life takes us... that includes one back home in appleton! she also said that because students are expected to conduct themselves the same way at home as in class, they are rewarded with patches and stars for their uniforms for jobs well-done outside of class, and when a problem arises, the instructors will sit down and discuss it with the kid(s). good to know...! i'm very pleased that we've decided to enroll the kids because the values and lessons they learn there truly do apply to the rest of their lives. and they're good values, ones that support our personal beliefs and the way we want to raise our kids. it's good to learn self-defense arts, but while they're still very young, they learn the core values and responsibility before focusing on the actual moves. and once remington's old enough (err, big enough?), i'm sure we'll put him in a tiny tigers class too!

that's all for now... not too much else is happening in our new neck of the woods. it's been cold and rainy since sunday night so the kids are developing a slight case of cabin fever. we'll go out tomorrow, even if it's only to little rock children's for remington's appointment. a change of pace usually is a good distraction!

white belt babies

cole and madison tried something new today: martial arts class!!

they didn't really understand what it was (although cole had some sort of idea...) but were excited to go learn "commercial arts" (according to cole) and "martial arks" (madi's version).

i found a place that's literally three miles from our apartment that offers "tiny tigers" classes- it's for kids who are between 3 and 6, and since madison is less than two weeks away from her 3rd birthday, she was able to join too. they have a special going on that includes three classes and the uniform for super cheap, so we decided that both kids might enjoy it.

remington looks like he's a tiny tiger too... :)

they learned to kick- madi's pretty flexible, i noticed!

they also learned to punch. there were some other things they were taught as well, but the most important things they'll be learning are discipline (self- and in general), self control, respect (manners!), following instructions and taking turns. i wasn't sure what to expect, since they're both usually pretty outgoing and when they're excited, don't focus at ALL... but by the end of their class, they were saying "yes, sir!" and returning to their designated spots on the mats. i was really impressed with how well they did, and they're so cute in their little uniforms! cole didn't want to leave, but after reassuring him that he will be coming back in a few days, he settled down very quickly. again, i was impressed- normally, his disappointment leads to a semi-meltdown (or at the very least, some very tearful shouting) but having just come out of his class, he was still in his self-control mode. THAT was awesome... and even just now, when i reminded them to use their manners please, cole said, "yes, ma'am" and madi echoed with "yes, sir". i think that this class will be very good for both the kids- they can burn off energy, learn basic self-defense and best of all, learn some very important life skills while enjoying themselves. i'm excited... we're eager to see how this plays out over the next few months!!

remington's big news!!

alrighty... this is the last part of my catching up! we'll start with january 2nd: that would be the day we left home. again. we headed south and a little west again, this time to little rock. we didn't get there in one day... with the kids, we decided it would be best to take two days. we made it to miner, missouri, where we stopped for the night. our three wonderful miniature travelers were happy to get out, stretch their legs and sleep in nice beds.

not sure what's going on here... must be a guy thing?

princess madison :)


somebody had the giggles

we got to our new place in north little rock/maumelle on tuesday around noon-ish. we signed the papers to get into our new place and then got the kids some lunch. the rest of the afternoon was spent unpacking, settling in, grocery shopping and making supper.

this is our new living room... i'm not a big fan of carpet (for sanitary reasons), but i LOVE the area rug! whoever decorated the corporate units did an awesome job. i'm head-over-heels with the red furniture.

our little dining room... carpeted too, which means vacuuming every day after supper, but that's not a big deal. granite table, leather chairs- classy!

one side of the kitchen

the other side of the kitchen. there's the dishwasher! it's more spacious than it looks, and i actually have more cupboard space than i need. such a nice change from home!

the rest of the apartment is just as nice- good solid furniture, two bathrooms, a balcony and storage space off of it, a washer and dryer inside a utility closet... it's nice. i love it. :)

this is what i caught rem doing this morning: resting on his elbows, sticking his rump up in the air. it was particularily exciting because of his motor delays AND he showed absolutely no signs of doing this yesterday. i was so happy... and then he did this:

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my friends, we have lift-off!!!! i cried. i literally cried, i was SO excited and happy! one of the things we'd discussed during his assessment the other week was a 6-month goal. what did we want to see rem doing by the time he was 15 months? crawling was the big one- crawling well, crawling far, crawling where-ever he wanted to go. until today, i was a little concerned about whether or not he'd reach that goal. what if it was unrealistic for him? was i setting us up for disappointment if he didn't reach that goal? considering most babies are crawling pretty well by 9 months, i figured that it would give him any extra time he needed to reach it... and i've been pleasantly surprised! mind you, he's not actually going anywhere yet, but he's never been up on all fours before, so this is BIG for him. and i know that he won't be crawling all over tomorrow- he may wait a few days or even a few weeks before attempting it again, but he's done it once and that gives us SO much hope that he'll catch up to where he should be in time. oh, my heart just is SO full of love right now... and, i sheepishly admit, pride. i'm so proud of our littlest man!

so there you have it... we're caught up. three posts already, and it's only january 5th. i'm off to a good start, hahaha! tomorrow will bring something new for madi and cole too- they're starting martial arts classes down the road! it'll be a trial run (they have a special on try-it classes... three classes plus the uniform for incredibly cheap! if the kids like it and the classes are affordable, we'll enroll them), and i'm excited about it. i think it'll be good for cole in particular: learning martial arts is not only beneficial for physical fitness, it also encourages self-discipline, following instructions, respecting others and self, all things that are good life-skills. i'll for sure post about it, hopefully tomorrow night. i'm going to be one of *those* moms, toting the camera to martial arts class. our poor kids... ;)

holidays, cousins and hospitals

one of the first things we did after getting back to wisconsin was to go to the farm. the kids were seriously missing grandma (and grandpa, too!) so the first saturday after we got back, we spent the day there.

mom had gotten a cute little snowglobe as a gift and the kids were all enthralled by it. remington kept a close eye on it- we could see the gears turning in his head... he was just itching to get his tiny fingers on it.
so as soon as he had the chance, he did!
one of the things that had been on my list for some time was to bake bread. i didn't get to make any while we were in tulsa so it was one of the first things on my "to-do" list after getting home.

one guess as to who's little fingers couldn't resist sneaking a little taste here and there! (it's becoming an undesireable little habit. sigh.)

a few days before christmas, elissa, logan and the boys came from montana!! it was the first time we were able to meet kase, so it was extra exciting.

kase (3 months) and remington (9 months). rem LOVES his little cousin! in fact, we thought that kase should just stay with us, because remington really reached for him. that's one of the things that he's fallen behind on for motor skills- reaching. but he didn't have any hesitations with kase.

baby chat. :)

baby hissy.

baby cheeks.

baby bum!!

babysitter??

hey, grandpa...

all the grandkids, minus bentley (he was napping). of course, i didn't get one shot where all 5 were looking (or even facing!) the same direction. but who cares- grandpa's in his glory, and we can see THAT!

mischief x 2...

naomi came for dinner saturday night too and got to indulge in some serious snuggling. :)

the day after christmas was remington's 9-month checkup. it was scheduled for just before noon, so i thought it would give us enough time to get up to green bay for a holiday dinner with kelvin's family. he took cole and madi in the truck and went a little early, and rem and i came later. he didn't get any vaccinations this time, but because he was still very underweight, dr h ordered a blood draw and a u-bag to collect a urine sample. he mentioned that in his conversations with the pediatrician remington had seen back in september, the subject of hospitalizing him came up but he didn't find it necessary to do so immediately. after everything was done, rem and i were on our way to green bay. i was lamenting that i'd forgotten my camera as we turned onto kandace and duey's street, and then my phone rang. it was dr h's nurse, calling to say that rem needed to be admitted to children's hospital at theda clark in neenah. after some discussion, tears, phone calls and quick greetings, rem and i headed back out the door to go home and pack a few things before going to children's. mom came after supper and stayed with rem and i at the hospital for a little bit. not long after being admitted, one of the nurses on the floor walked in and i thought she looked familiar... as it turned out, it was the nurse who'd been with us at new london when cole was born!! she was amazing... and it was great to see her again. :)

sleepy baby in his hospital crib.

bitty toes...

kelvin took cole and madi to mom and dad's the next day. they played with cousins while kelvin spent some time with rem and i (and i went back home for an eye exam). the poor kids were a little unsure about what was happening... i felt so torn between staying with remington and being with cole and madi.

smiles for daddy!

checking out daddy's phone. remington's sitting skills have improved greatly! before his checkup, he had an in-home assessment with a therapist through the birth-to-three program. his sitting skills were estimated to be at a 7-month level while the rest of his motor skills were collectively at a 3-month level. the therapist suggested a few things to encourage motor skill development and we've been trying to keep up on it as much as possible. but in a matter of just a few days, he was sitting with his hands down on his little legs or at his sides instead of his arms being straight out to the sides at shoulder-height. we see little improvements here and there, so that's promising. his intellectual capabilities didn't show any delay, which was great news.

poor remington- surrounded by toys but bored to the max. he literally didn't know what to do- he's so used to being on the floor for tummy-time, watching the older kids, squealing, smiling and finally kicking for a good part of the morning. kicking... that's another thing that has recently developed too- it was during our last week in tulsa that he first started bending his knees and kicking. at first it was when he was peeved, but that was fine with us, because it meant his legs weren't straight, stiff and crossed at the ankles. we'll take what we can get here!

fortunately, he got a little entertainment when auntie elissa and auntie sarah came to visit! kase came along too, but because of the visitors policy during cold and flu season, poor kase had to wait in the lobby area. elissa and sarah took turns sitting with kase while the other spent a little time with remington.

as he'll soon find out, auntie sa-sa's always good for a laugh! :)

(photo credit to elissa... credit on the "baby bum" photo goes to her, too. any photo i'm in, chances are the credit is elissa's. thank you!!)

eskimo kisses with auntie sarah :)

remington was released late-afternoon on wednesday... all that really happened was that he was monitored (his intake and output), the dietician met with us, they attempted to get him to take every kind of formula they had on hand there (he refused all of it... the only kind he'll accept is an organic one that i found in tulsa) and then was discharged after gaining about 6 ounces. once he got home, i attempted to continue to feed him more than he usually has, but by thursday morning, he showed a little less interest in food. he happily ate a few bites, but he was so full from laying around, sleeping and eating that he just didn't care much about food! not to say we didn't try our hardest, though- if he opened his mouth, we at least attempted to put something in it :)

happy to be out of the hospital... rem had a follow-up appointment with dr h on thursday afternoon. we didn't get to spend as much time with elissa and sarah as i'd have liked because of remington being in the hospital, so he and i went over to the farm to spend a few hours with them before they left. kelvin stayed home with the kids, who really needed a day in their own environment...

kissin' cousins... :)

we wish we could have had more time with everyone... but we have some great photos and wonderful memories from our time together to tide us over till next time. love you all!