it is well...

i had to share this... it's been the plea of my heart the last few days, just to accept whatever comes our way and rest content in the knowledge that the Lord has led us there and will lead us through it too.

i've always loved this melody, and the words to the "old" hymn are ones that i find comforting...

"when peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll; whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, "it is well, it is well with my soul".

as i get ready to hit the "publish" button, it's just sweet little remington and i here in the living room while everyone else is in bed after a long nap-less day. he's standing between my knees, holding onto the edge of the tote that's doubling as a laptop desk, completely on his own. his motor skills seem to be improving daily, for which we're so grateful... it's a relief to know that he's starting to catch up. while he's still got a ways to go, he's made a great start at it and i think i'm more giddy over his accomplishments than a new mommy, even, just because we've been holding our breath, just waiting to see if he'll reach even the little milestones on his own. ha... and now, as i finished typing those last few lines, he'd plunked down on my leg and is at this very moment attempting to pull himself to standing. he's *thisclose* to getting up.

one more thing before rem has his bottle and we settle down for a hopefully quiet night (last night was a long one- i tried giving him rice again, hoping he'd be ok with it, but he was up most of the night, fussy and agitated, so rice obviously isn't going to be added to his diet anytime in the very near future. sigh.)... i may have said it, though i most likely forgot: all our friends and family have really meant the world to us since all of this came to a head with remington. and while it's not over yet, thank you all so much for lending your ears, letting me vent, your phone calls/emails/texts, and for remembering us in the place of prayer. we love you all, i don't know how to say it any other way. thank you.

--> insert witty title here <--

my creative sparke has fizzled... all i can say is that there's been an escalation/new development in remington's situation. while i can't really go into detail here, we could really use some encouragement in prayer right now. i don't think i've ever felt this discouraged (and even repeating "it could be worse" to myself like a madwoman just doesn't seem to help right now)... not trying to have a pity party or anything, we're just really overwhelmed. so thank you all again for your thoughts and prayers- please don't stop now!!!

this again... sigh.

alrighty... so this will be redundant for those of you who either have facebook, are family, talk a lot to my family or all of the above. but you haven't seen photos... !

when remington was discharged from children's hospital in neenah back between christmas and new years, we knew ahead of time that he'd be seeing a growth and development specialist when we got to little rock. the dr who oversaw rem's care was awesome enough to look up, contact and schedule an appointment for us, so we didn't even have to do anything but show up. his appointment was last week wednesday (the 11th). if you've ever been to children's in little rock, then you know how huge it is. if you haven't, then i can't even begin to tell you. it's insanely huge, especially for us small-town folks.

rem saw dr casey over in the 'circle of friends' building, one of many that are outlying from the main hospital itself. after waiting two hours beyond when his appointment was scheduled, we finally saw the dr and he advised that rem be admitted right away. of course, i've got all three kids, the older two are cuh-LIM-bing the walls by this time, rem's too tired to stay awake but overdue for a feeding and my last nerve is dangerously frayed. i sort of freaked out (sorry, mom!) but calmed down once they said that there weren't any open beds, so they had no choice to but wait until the morning to admit him. so that's what we did... and i barely slept that night.

remington and i got to the hospital around 8.30 on thursday morning and he was completely admitted about an hour later. we were taken to itu (infant/toddler unit) where he was given a bed in a room with three other beds, two of which were occupied. there was a single bathroom (my inner germophobe freaked out...) and we were right outside the nurses' station. rem was weighed, measured, stripped down, given a bracelet, given an iv port, blood taken, catheterized for a urine sample and the whole time i was asked a million and a half questions. rem was incredibly angry about all of this, and i was so sad for him... especially when they took him to radiology to have him x-rayed. the upright tube that they put little ones in for that is just not cool. he was screaming and i pretty much lost it. every instinct in my body was telling me to grab him and run home. after all that, he was finally left alone long enough to be able to eat- mashed potatoes and applesauce. we've been using an organic formula for supplemental feedings- i don't like the idea of formula at all, but for various reasons, we've had to resort to it. i had to call kelvin to pick up two extra cans from whole foods because they wanted unopened cans to mix up his portions... thankfully, he'd taken the day off (and took friday off as well to stay with cole and madison).

once all the poking and prodding was over, rem was happy enough to make his silly face for the camera!

the first night was interesting! i struggled with whether i should stay with him at the hospital or go home for a few hours to try to get a little rest. the nurses encouraged me to go home, even just for a little while, and i left (bawling) after he was asleep. i was sure he'd sleep well because he'd gotten no naps during the day. before he left, though, two ladies from little rock were alerted to our situation and stopped up for a visit... it was beyond wonderful to meet someone from the area- i didn't feel quite so alone and overwhelmed. special thank you to b. and j. for making the effort!! anyway, i went home, got to the apartment around 10-ish and finally dozed off around 11.45. around 12.15, i woke up feeling sick and panicky and a few minutes later, my phone rang; the nurses were calling to say that remington had woken up and wouldn't stop crying. the exact phrase was "he's fit to be tied". imagine that with a scottish accent... nurse betty was amazing and i loveloveloved her accent!! i took a quick shower and drove back (12-15 minutes, depending on traffic). poor baby had been sobbing, and i still feel guilty even now for leaving him alone. we walked the halls from 1.30 till 5.30, when he finally passed out and dozed off and on for a few hours.


kelvin was able to leave the kiddos with a friend (the wife of one of his co-workers; they're staying in the same building we are- we can see their door from ours) and come visit for a little while. remington was pretty tired, though wide awake, and very clingy, so daddy didn't get as much snuggle time as he'd have liked. while he was still there, j. came back for a visit. she brought lunch, telling me that i HAD to eat, then stayed after kelvin went home. we chatted about all sorts of things- we'd met less than 24 hours ago but it felt like i was visiting with an old friend. around noon, rem's medical team came in to report that they'd only gotten a few test results back- some were normal, though he was consistently slightly hypoglycemic. they decided that for the next 24 hours, he was to take in 34 ounces of formula, no solid food, no nursing.

he also got an ekg and had a sweat test done (to check for cystic fibrosis). his sweat test needs to be redone in two weeks because they didn't get enough sweat the first time. bummer. at least it can be done on an outpatient basis!

saturday remington got his iv port out- he was pretty happy, because that's the arm he uses to curl under his head when he sleeps or snuggles! friday night was pretty much sleepless for me, although rem slept a little better. i was able to put him in his crib twice, but the rest of the time, i was holding him (sometimes he was sleeping, sometimes not) and mostly walked the halls again. he wasn't too happy about being in a strange place with strange people, so he didn't want me to sit down with him. poor baby!

mmm, yummy thumb!!

j. came back again on saturday for a few hours... she was a total life-saver and i owe her BIG-TIME! i've never felt quite so grateful for someone's company as i did then... and i truly enjoy talking with her. we've got quite a bit in common, as far as preferrences, phobias, tendencies, likes and dislikes. and she's not hard to talk to- incredibly upbeat and happy.

saturday night was a nightmare. there's a strict policy regarding visitors during cold/flu season, and that night, rem had one little roommate. his grandma was visiting, and she came down with a stomach bug. i flipped. by this time, i was beyond tired, the other little guy (and his dad) in the last room he'd been in had been sick friday night, we were right next to the shared bathroom and i knew that if rem were to get sick and start losing any sort of weight, he'd have to stay longer. not to mention, i didn't want to get sick either. the nurses explained the policy to the grandmother and asked her to please honor it- she got nasty, refused to leave and kept getting sick. rem's nurse that night was amazing- she was so understanding and did all she could to get the director of nursing on staff that night to take care of the situation. it was ignored- the sick grandmother wasn't leaving and they weren't put into isolation as they should have been. the nurse rounded up a freshly sanitized mini-crib and moved remington into the playroom, so we spent the night in there. before that, though, i asked about discharging him right then... the doctor on rounds for that shift said that they could try, but it would be considered ama (against medical advice) and insurance most likely wouldn't cover any of remington's stay then. it was just not a good situation. in the morning, though, because remington had just barely met his goal gain, we were allowed to be discharged... we were out the doors before noon!

it was madison's birthday on sunday and we'd originally planned to have cake on saturday night for her. obviously, that didn't happen, and we hadn't even gotten a chance to get her present. she's only three and still has a year or so before she really understands the whole birthday thing, but we felt so bad that she didn't get a birthday on her birthday, so she opened a package from auntie mary in montana...

... a montana state bear! she loves it, and it's been added to her little bedtime troupe. thank you, auntie mary c!!! actually, madison had also gotten a few things on saturday night from uncle ted and kevin... a princess/fairy barbie and a really neat activity book with stickers. thank you to the guys for making her day!

oh, this little man has never been so happy to be in his own element! it kind of looks like he's clapping, but he's not. i think he's inspecting for food... he's limited to no more than 2 tbsp of solids a day, so he's not too happy about that.

making his famous silly face- i've never captured it from the side, and i'm glad i finally did. it's a hoot!! auntie elissa says he looks like an angry bird... now i really have to jump on the bandwagon and start playing angry birds, hahaha!

~

thank you to everyone who called, texted, emailed and facebooked when rem was in the hospital... it means so much! and we're still waiting on most of his test/lab results- hopefully we'll get reports tomorrow. i've decided that if he needs to be readmitted for any reason, we're coming home and taking him to children's in neenah. hopefully we won't have to, but if we do, that's the plan. the nurses were great at little rock, but that's about it... definitely not planning on going back. i'm so thankful that he's ok and that it wasn't worse. on saturday night, the doors to the picu were opened for something (either incoming patients, janetorial or whatever) and i heard the most awful screams coming from a mommy there. it broke my heart and i can't get it out of my head. i'm so very lucky to have my baby here and safe... one of my favorite reminders is that "it could always be worse", and i'm so very very thankful that it HASN'T been worse.

happy birthday, miss madison!!

three years ago yesterday, our little princess made her wide-eyed entrance into the world. (she was literally born with her eyes open!) normally for birthday posts, i like to share photos of birth, 1st birthday, 2nd birthday, etc. but hers are at home in the safe. whups.

so this one will have to do...

miss madison has been our little princess since she came into our lives. we've watched her grow from a tiny red squalling newborn to an active little girl... she's smart, keeping up with her big brother when it comes to learning letters and numbers. she looks up to cole, is sensitive to the needs and wants of remington, loves with a heart that is bigger than big and keeps us laughing with her humor. she's surrounded by boys: two brothers and three boy cousins... she keeps up with them just fine yet has started to show her girly side too. she's a tiny tiger at the ata with a whopper of a front kick! she's our baby girl, the princess of the house, and we couldn't have dreamed of having a sweeter little daughter. madi, you've brought incredible joy to our hearts! we're so proud of how smart, sweet and kind you are... thank you for being our little girl!

(*and we promise that we'll have cake and presents this weekend... we feel so badly that we had to put it all on hold!*)

white belt babies: it's official!

today cole and madison earned their white belts (officially)!! they also did quite well in class... someday, i HAVE to get video because these little kiddos (and the other one(s) in class) try SO hard to follow master jorgenson. they do a good job but let's face it: 3- and 4-year-olds are just not quite as coordinated as most adults. i can't help but giggle sometimes!

cole's demonstrating his high block and madi's just mad because she still has her shoes on.

cole and his white belt

grouchy squish and HER white belt... :)

i was able to chat with one of the employees (she's not an instructor, she sets up schedules, takes payments, that sort of thing) and she told me a little more about the class and whatnot. since it's world-wide (ataonline.com), we can find schools pretty much where ever life takes us... that includes one back home in appleton! she also said that because students are expected to conduct themselves the same way at home as in class, they are rewarded with patches and stars for their uniforms for jobs well-done outside of class, and when a problem arises, the instructors will sit down and discuss it with the kid(s). good to know...! i'm very pleased that we've decided to enroll the kids because the values and lessons they learn there truly do apply to the rest of their lives. and they're good values, ones that support our personal beliefs and the way we want to raise our kids. it's good to learn self-defense arts, but while they're still very young, they learn the core values and responsibility before focusing on the actual moves. and once remington's old enough (err, big enough?), i'm sure we'll put him in a tiny tigers class too!

that's all for now... not too much else is happening in our new neck of the woods. it's been cold and rainy since sunday night so the kids are developing a slight case of cabin fever. we'll go out tomorrow, even if it's only to little rock children's for remington's appointment. a change of pace usually is a good distraction!

white belt babies

cole and madison tried something new today: martial arts class!!

they didn't really understand what it was (although cole had some sort of idea...) but were excited to go learn "commercial arts" (according to cole) and "martial arks" (madi's version).

i found a place that's literally three miles from our apartment that offers "tiny tigers" classes- it's for kids who are between 3 and 6, and since madison is less than two weeks away from her 3rd birthday, she was able to join too. they have a special going on that includes three classes and the uniform for super cheap, so we decided that both kids might enjoy it.

remington looks like he's a tiny tiger too... :)

they learned to kick- madi's pretty flexible, i noticed!

they also learned to punch. there were some other things they were taught as well, but the most important things they'll be learning are discipline (self- and in general), self control, respect (manners!), following instructions and taking turns. i wasn't sure what to expect, since they're both usually pretty outgoing and when they're excited, don't focus at ALL... but by the end of their class, they were saying "yes, sir!" and returning to their designated spots on the mats. i was really impressed with how well they did, and they're so cute in their little uniforms! cole didn't want to leave, but after reassuring him that he will be coming back in a few days, he settled down very quickly. again, i was impressed- normally, his disappointment leads to a semi-meltdown (or at the very least, some very tearful shouting) but having just come out of his class, he was still in his self-control mode. THAT was awesome... and even just now, when i reminded them to use their manners please, cole said, "yes, ma'am" and madi echoed with "yes, sir". i think that this class will be very good for both the kids- they can burn off energy, learn basic self-defense and best of all, learn some very important life skills while enjoying themselves. i'm excited... we're eager to see how this plays out over the next few months!!

remington's big news!!

alrighty... this is the last part of my catching up! we'll start with january 2nd: that would be the day we left home. again. we headed south and a little west again, this time to little rock. we didn't get there in one day... with the kids, we decided it would be best to take two days. we made it to miner, missouri, where we stopped for the night. our three wonderful miniature travelers were happy to get out, stretch their legs and sleep in nice beds.

not sure what's going on here... must be a guy thing?

princess madison :)

somebody had the giggles

we got to our new place in north little rock/maumelle on tuesday around noon-ish. we signed the papers to get into our new place and then got the kids some lunch. the rest of the afternoon was spent unpacking, settling in, grocery shopping and making supper. there was stuff all over, and i had no place to put remington while feeding him, so i put him on the counter to feed him. yes, i have a kitchen with a counter!! (and a dishwasher. i really want to take this place back to wisconsin with me...). mind you, i'm not the type of parent that just sets my child on the counter and walks away... just to clarify. i was holding rem with one hand and leaning down to put his dirty bowl in the dishwasher when he did this weird sort of twist-and-lunge thing. totally out of the blue, since one of the things he's really behind on is reaching for things. anyway, he fell off the countertop and into the dishwasher. literally, into the dishwasher! the poor baby... he had a cut on his head that seemed awful (and i kept reminding myself that head-wounds bleed more than other wounds), a large egg on his forehead and various owies on his little noggin from the spokes on the bottom rack. normally i'm pretty calm when one of the kids gets hurt, but i flipped this time. i knew it was my fault and i was SO scared that he was hurt worse than what it looked like. fortunately, he showed no signs of concussion and after crying for awhile, settled down and started grinning again.

you can see the cut on his head... the swelling on his forehead about his eye is gone today and all that remains is the bruise. he's still got some abrasions on the top and side of his head (from the spokes) but he's healing up fast. please, no lectures... i give myself one with a heaping side of guilt every time i see his owies. :(

this is our new living room... i'm not a big fan of carpet (for sanitary reasons), but i LOVE the area rug! whoever decorated the corporate units did an awesome job. i'm head-over-heels with the red furniture.

our little dining room... carpeted too, which means vacuuming every day after supper, but that's not a big deal. granite table, leather chairs- classy!

one side of the kitchen

the other side of the kitchen. there's the dishwasher! it's more spacious than it looks, and i actually have more cupboard space than i need. such a nice change from home!

the rest of the apartment is just as nice- good solid furniture, two bathrooms, a balcony and storage space off of it, a washer and dryer inside a utility closet... it's nice. i love it. :)

this is what i caught rem doing this morning: resting on his elbows, sticking his rump up in the air. it was particularily exciting because of his motor delays AND he showed absolutely no signs of doing this yesterday. i was so happy... and then he did this:

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my friends, we have lift-off!!!! i cried. i literally cried, i was SO excited and happy! one of the things we'd discussed during his assessment the other week was a 6-month goal. what did we want to see rem doing by the time he was 15 months? crawling was the big one- crawling well, crawling far, crawling where-ever he wanted to go (within reason of course. safety first! says the mom who let said child fall into the dishwasher... sigh.). until today, i was a little concerned about whether or not he'd reach that goal. what if it was unrealistic for him? was i setting us up for disappointment if he didn't reach that goal? considering most babies are crawling pretty well by 9 months, i figured that it would give him any extra time he needed to reach it... and i've been pleasantly surprised! mind you, he's not actually going anywhere yet, but he's never been up on all fours before, so this is BIG for him. and i know that he won't be crawling all over tomorrow- he may wait a few days or even a few weeks before attempting it again, but he's done it once and that gives us SO much hope that he'll catch up to where he should be in time. oh, my heart just is SO full of love right now... and, i sheepishly admit, pride. i'm so proud of our littlest man!

so there you have it... we're caught up. three posts already, and it's only january 5th. i'm off to a good start, hahaha! tomorrow will bring something new for madi and cole too- they're starting martial arts classes down the road! it'll be a trial run (they have a special on try-it classes... three classes plus the uniform for incredibly cheap! if the kids like it and the classes are affordable, we'll enroll them), and i'm excited about it. i think it'll be good for cole in particular: learning martial arts is not only beneficial for physical fitness, it also encourages self-discipline, following instructions, respecting others and self, all things that are good life-skills. i'll for sure post about it, hopefully tomorrow night. i'm going to be one of *those* moms, toting the camera to martial arts class. our poor kids... ;)