this again... sigh.

alrighty... so this will be redundant for those of you who either have facebook, are family, talk a lot to my family or all of the above. but you haven't seen photos... !

when remington was discharged from children's hospital in neenah back between christmas and new years, we knew ahead of time that he'd be seeing a growth and development specialist when we got to little rock. the dr who oversaw rem's care was awesome enough to look up, contact and schedule an appointment for us, so we didn't even have to do anything but show up. his appointment was last week wednesday (the 11th). if you've ever been to children's in little rock, then you know how huge it is. if you haven't, then i can't even begin to tell you. it's insanely huge, especially for us small-town folks.

rem saw dr casey over in the 'circle of friends' building, one of many that are outlying from the main hospital itself. after waiting two hours beyond when his appointment was scheduled, we finally saw the dr and he advised that rem be admitted right away. of course, i've got all three kids, the older two are cuh-LIM-bing the walls by this time, rem's too tired to stay awake but overdue for a feeding and my last nerve is dangerously frayed. i sort of freaked out (sorry, mom!) but calmed down once they said that there weren't any open beds, so they had no choice to but wait until the morning to admit him. so that's what we did... and i barely slept that night.

remington and i got to the hospital around 8.30 on thursday morning and he was completely admitted about an hour later. we were taken to itu (infant/toddler unit) where he was given a bed in a room with three other beds, two of which were occupied. there was a single bathroom (my inner germophobe freaked out...) and we were right outside the nurses' station. rem was weighed, measured, stripped down, given a bracelet, given an iv port, blood taken, catheterized for a urine sample and the whole time i was asked a million and a half questions. rem was incredibly angry about all of this, and i was so sad for him... especially when they took him to radiology to have him x-rayed. the upright tube that they put little ones in for that is just not cool. he was screaming and i pretty much lost it. every instinct in my body was telling me to grab him and run home. after all that, he was finally left alone long enough to be able to eat- mashed potatoes and applesauce. we've been using an organic formula for supplemental feedings- i don't like the idea of formula at all, but for various reasons, we've had to resort to it. i had to call kelvin to pick up two extra cans from whole foods because they wanted unopened cans to mix up his portions... thankfully, he'd taken the day off (and took friday off as well to stay with cole and madison).

once all the poking and prodding was over, rem was happy enough to make his silly face for the camera!

the first night was interesting! i struggled with whether i should stay with him at the hospital or go home for a few hours to try to get a little rest. the nurses encouraged me to go home, even just for a little while, and i left (bawling) after he was asleep. i was sure he'd sleep well because he'd gotten no naps during the day. before he left, though, two ladies from little rock were alerted to our situation and stopped up for a visit... it was beyond wonderful to meet someone from the area- i didn't feel quite so alone and overwhelmed. special thank you to b. and j. for making the effort!! anyway, i went home, got to the apartment around 10-ish and finally dozed off around 11.45. around 12.15, i woke up feeling sick and panicky and a few minutes later, my phone rang; the nurses were calling to say that remington had woken up and wouldn't stop crying. the exact phrase was "he's fit to be tied". imagine that with a scottish accent... nurse betty was amazing and i loveloveloved her accent!! i took a quick shower and drove back (12-15 minutes, depending on traffic). poor baby had been sobbing, and i still feel guilty even now for leaving him alone. we walked the halls from 1.30 till 5.30, when he finally passed out and dozed off and on for a few hours.


kelvin was able to leave the kiddos with a friend (the wife of one of his co-workers; they're staying in the same building we are- we can see their door from ours) and come visit for a little while. remington was pretty tired, though wide awake, and very clingy, so daddy didn't get as much snuggle time as he'd have liked. while he was still there, j. came back for a visit. she brought lunch, telling me that i HAD to eat, then stayed after kelvin went home. we chatted about all sorts of things- we'd met less than 24 hours ago but it felt like i was visiting with an old friend. around noon, rem's medical team came in to report that they'd only gotten a few test results back- some were normal, though he was consistently slightly hypoglycemic. they decided that for the next 24 hours, he was to take in 34 ounces of formula, no solid food, no nursing.

he also got an ekg and had a sweat test done (to check for cystic fibrosis). his sweat test needs to be redone in two weeks because they didn't get enough sweat the first time. bummer. at least it can be done on an outpatient basis!

saturday remington got his iv port out- he was pretty happy, because that's the arm he uses to curl under his head when he sleeps or snuggles! friday night was pretty much sleepless for me, although rem slept a little better. i was able to put him in his crib twice, but the rest of the time, i was holding him (sometimes he was sleeping, sometimes not) and mostly walked the halls again. he wasn't too happy about being in a strange place with strange people, so he didn't want me to sit down with him. poor baby!

mmm, yummy thumb!!

j. came back again on saturday for a few hours... she was a total life-saver and i owe her BIG-TIME! i've never felt quite so grateful for someone's company as i did then... and i truly enjoy talking with her. we've got quite a bit in common, as far as preferrences, phobias, tendencies, likes and dislikes. and she's not hard to talk to- incredibly upbeat and happy.

saturday night was a nightmare. there's a strict policy regarding visitors during cold/flu season, and that night, rem had one little roommate. his grandma was visiting, and she came down with a stomach bug. i flipped. by this time, i was beyond tired, the other little guy (and his dad) in the last room he'd been in had been sick friday night, we were right next to the shared bathroom and i knew that if rem were to get sick and start losing any sort of weight, he'd have to stay longer. not to mention, i didn't want to get sick either. the nurses explained the policy to the grandmother and asked her to please honor it- she got nasty, refused to leave and kept getting sick. rem's nurse that night was amazing- she was so understanding and did all she could to get the director of nursing on staff that night to take care of the situation. it was ignored- the sick grandmother wasn't leaving and they weren't put into isolation as they should have been. the nurse rounded up a freshly sanitized mini-crib and moved remington into the playroom, so we spent the night in there. before that, though, i asked about discharging him right then... the doctor on rounds for that shift said that they could try, but it would be considered ama (against medical advice) and insurance most likely wouldn't cover any of remington's stay then. it was just not a good situation. in the morning, though, because remington had just barely met his goal gain, we were allowed to be discharged... we were out the doors before noon!

it was madison's birthday on sunday and we'd originally planned to have cake on saturday night for her. obviously, that didn't happen, and we hadn't even gotten a chance to get her present. she's only three and still has a year or so before she really understands the whole birthday thing, but we felt so bad that she didn't get a birthday on her birthday, so she opened a package from auntie mary in montana...

... a montana state bear! she loves it, and it's been added to her little bedtime troupe. thank you, auntie mary c!!! actually, madison had also gotten a few things on saturday night from uncle ted and kevin... a princess/fairy barbie and a really neat activity book with stickers. thank you to the guys for making her day!

oh, this little man has never been so happy to be in his own element! it kind of looks like he's clapping, but he's not. i think he's inspecting for food... he's limited to no more than 2 tbsp of solids a day, so he's not too happy about that.

making his famous silly face- i've never captured it from the side, and i'm glad i finally did. it's a hoot!! auntie elissa says he looks like an angry bird... now i really have to jump on the bandwagon and start playing angry birds, hahaha!

~

thank you to everyone who called, texted, emailed and facebooked when rem was in the hospital... it means so much! and we're still waiting on most of his test/lab results- hopefully we'll get reports tomorrow. i've decided that if he needs to be readmitted for any reason, we're coming home and taking him to children's in neenah. hopefully we won't have to, but if we do, that's the plan. the nurses were great at little rock, but that's about it... definitely not planning on going back. i'm so thankful that he's ok and that it wasn't worse. on saturday night, the doors to the picu were opened for something (either incoming patients, janetorial or whatever) and i heard the most awful screams coming from a mommy there. it broke my heart and i can't get it out of my head. i'm so very lucky to have my baby here and safe... one of my favorite reminders is that "it could always be worse", and i'm so very very thankful that it HASN'T been worse.